Why is it sometimes that we don’t appreciate what we have until it is gone?  I know that I did not value the joy of a good run before I came down with RA.  I wish I had appreciated it when I could still do it.  There are many things that I should have been grateful for when my body worked effortlessly. The lesson that RA taught me: Gratitude.

I could choose to be angry or resentful that I can no longer do the physical things that I used to. That would be looking backward at something I cannot change. I choose to be grateful for what I have today.  I try to take nothing for granted.  I can never tell which joint will be effected on any given day so I really need to be grateful for the ones that work today. Tomorrow they may be painful and not move very well.

When I think of gratitude, to me it means assessing value in everyday things.  Sometimes it is the smallest things that I am most grateful. For example I am grateful for the sun, the way that it warms my skin and nourishes my body. I am grateful for the way the laundry smells when it first comes out of the dryer.  And sometimes it’s the bigger more important things that I am most grateful for such as  my husband , who has loved me for over 25 years and makes me laugh almost everyday or my kids, each one so incredibly unique and amazing.

I started with the small things.  I was grateful that my feet did not hurt as much as yesterday.  I was grateful that I didn’t have to go up and down the stairs a second time.  Somehow  the more that I acknowledged all that I have been given, the more that was given to me and the less I needed external things to fill my life.  I  really have all that I need.  I am loved and I have so many to love. Everything else is a bonus. The fact that my body does not look or act the way that it used to is not as important as it once was.

Sooner or later everyone will have to deal with the fact that their physical body is not what it was in its youth.  Because I have rheumatoid arthritis I have challenges that have presented themselves earlier in my life than someone who doesn’t have this disease but there is nothing that I can do about that. Every person has their own issues, their own stuff that they have to deal with. No life goes without challenges.

In learning the true meaning of gratitude, there has been a shift in my focus from what I thought I wanted to the abundance in my life. It feels like being given a new pair of glasses to see the world with clarity. For this I am immensely grateful.